


I was gone (but not my love)

by pensivecowboyemoji



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Light Angst, Making Up, Other, i wrote this at 3am and i barely passed gcse english so go easy on me thanks, in my humble opinion nureyev just needs a good cry, set immediately after 3.02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:02:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21641890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pensivecowboyemoji/pseuds/pensivecowboyemoji
Summary: Juno and Peter work things out, in the end.(title from "youth", glass animals)
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 3
Kudos: 55





	I was gone (but not my love)

**Author's Note:**

> i apparently love commas so here u go, if this sucks just close the tab and have a great day.

"I," Peter sighs, "I heard you, you know." A pause. "That night. When you left."  
He hears Juno gasp softly, sadly, lifting a rough hand to his mouth. He can't look at Juno, eyes darting between the chest of drawers, the edge of the rug, the chair in the corner in fromt of the vanity littered with makeup, and back again.  
They're both sitting on his bed. Juno, perched at the head, closest to the door. Peter, at the foot. the metre or so space between them feeling like miles.  
Juno had changed. Peter knew that. Juno knew that. Hell, Vespa knew that and she barely knew the lady. He was... softer now. Less angles and anger and walls a mile high. Peter didn't know how to approach this new Juno, someone so... Open. So vulnerable, so... trusting. The last time someone had trusted him like that, he'd buried a knife in his chest and sworn to never trust anyone the same again. He'd wrapped himself in a cocoon of false identities until Peter Nureyev was but a distant memory, even to himself. How history repeats itself.  
"I heard you open the door, then stay there. I hoped... gods," Peter chuckles, empty, devoid of any humour. "I hoped you'd changed your mind about leaving me there, in that room." He sighs again. His glee from earlier extinguished, the hurt from months ago rising to the surface like shrapnel embedded in tissue.  
And all of a sudden, Juno understands. Abandoning him, without- without a word! He'd crept off into the violent night like... like some one night stand he was ashamed of before they'd even kissed. Like a coward.  
And he was a coward, then. He'd had a taste of something much bigger than he was ready for. The prospect of letting someone in, of chiselling out the doorway he'd blocked off so long ago, of allowing Peter to see his scars and his trauma and it... it _scared _him. Diamond had seen and, well. He hasn't liked it, so he left, taking the tuxedo and sticking Juno with the bill. That dress was expensive as hell, damnit!  
But no. This was not something Juno could make about himself, not this time. He'd sworn off it the first time he got Theia out of his system. It was time to rebuild the bridge he'd so ruthlessly destroyed.  
Of course it hurt. He would be a fool to think otherwise. To confess your lo- your love to someone, to have them reciprocate, to then leave? It was heartless, cruel... And he inflicted that pain, just as he knew he would. Just as he had so many times before. No. This time, it would be different. Juno- Juno would make it different. __

____

____

"Peter, I-" Juno starts, shifting forward, reaching out for Peter's shaking hands, freezing when the thief interrupts.  
"No. Please, you've already apologised enough, Juno. I can hardly blame you, you were... a bit of a mess." He looks up, meeting the lady's eyes. Both are watering. Peter chuckles again, and again, until he's laughing, and then he's sobbing.  
Loud, chest-deep hiccups ripping from him. It sounded painful. Juno raises, hovers, not knowing if he should sit closer or further away, if he should wrap his arms around Peter and hold him tight until he *understands* he won't leave again. Never again. He decides on the latter, and Peter buries into his neck, pale arms wrapping tight around his midriff.  
"Oof," Juno chokes out, "Hold on, _vaquero _, a lady's gotta breathe."  
Peter chuckles, sniffs, and looks up, arms loosening. His eyes, those peircing blue eyes, framed by the make up, smudged by tears. __

____

____

He has never looked more beautiful. 

The kiss feels natural, like two galaxies being drawn together by forces they don't understand, like a solar system being pulled into a black hole, like- like- oh, Juno can't think of anything other poetic parallels, his universe has shrunk down to the press of their mouths, the warmth of Peter's body, the lingering taste of the Venusian Wine they served at the party. He's not sure where he ends and Peter begins. 

The moment ends too soon. It feels like it lasted a nanosecond, a thousand years, a minute, an hour. Juno doesn't know. They part like a glacier moving, foreheads resting together, breathing the same air. Peter still has his eyes - those beautiful eyes - closed. There's a hint of a smile on his face. He whispers something, smile widening, sharp canines peaking out.  
"What?" Juno breathes. Peter opens his eyes, like windows to his soul, and repeats,  
"I'm still a fool."  
And Juno's heart soars, grin splitting across his own face. His hands come up to cradle Peter's face, whispering back a confession of his own:  
"So it appears, as am I." 

It doesn't go much further, they're both exhausted from the heist earlier to do much more than lie down, whispering, wrapped up in one another both literally and figuratively. Juno, lying on his back, on the side furthest from the door. Peter, half on top of him, head resting on his shoulder. Their hands are interlinked, Juno's free arm wrapped around Peter's waist.  
"I'm proud of you, Juno." Peter says, startlingly loud in the quiet and dark of the room. Juno makes a small noise of confusion, inviting Peter to elaborate.  
"I'm proud of your... your growth, as it would be. In the months we've been apart... you seem calmer. You... apologised which, pardon me for saying, doesn't seem like a Juno Steel Brand™ thing to do."  
It's Juno's turn to chuckle, "Yeah, well. Turns out, solving your brother's murder by having an evil robot eye uninstalled from your brain is some pretty good therapy." He sighs, "I realised I wasn't alone, that I didn't have to _be _alone. It was... harrowing to say the godsdamn least. But it was a weight around my neck, I'm glad to be free of it."  
Peter hums, cranes his neck to kiss Juno's own before settling down. Then, there's silence, Peter slipping further and further into sleep, lulled by the harmony of their breathing, the feel of having Juno, his lady, close again, and knowing neither would be running away this time.__

**Author's Note:**

> im kinda off my shits rn its four am ive been awake for twenty hours with six hours sleep and i listened to all the juno eps in like three days. 3.02 messed me up i was crying into my pasta. leave a comment/kudos if you want? im not expecting anything  
> follow me on tumblr @iamcisphobicandqueer i like taz as well okay love u xoxoxox


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